Beneath the Surface

I always thought that things were okay. I mean what else am i to think when everytime i ask all he says is that things are okay. He acts as if nothing is wrong. But then i read somewhere that he isn't happy with life. That he is having so many problems and he doesn't know how to get through it. I see her reply. And i see his. He says she is her best friend, he says he tells her everything and that she knows him more than anyone.

Right when you think you no someone. Mayb not evverything there is to know about them but you believe that you know enough. I realised that i know nothing about him. Of course i know of the superficial aspects of his life. How he wants a car, how he is planning to do this or that. But she knows whether he loves life, she is intimate with his emotions.

What does it mean? Am i only here for convenience? Everything he says he loves about her ironically are things that he doesnt want me doing. He loves her for telling him what he needs to hear not what he wants to hear. He despises me for being too harsh or unsupportive. He loves her for her sarcasm and her making funn of him in front of everyone. I apparently ridicule him and am condescending. She is what i am. But i am punished when she is worshipped.

What does that mean? Am i simply speaking from some unjustified sense of insecurity? How is it that I am his girlfriend and know the least about him? Where do i stand? What is my purpose? What am I?