Insufficient, Lacking, Not Enough

We use to ask each other hypotheticals. Sumtimes they’d ask ‘wat would u do if someone cheated on you?’ My first response was that I’d probably be in an outrage, throw a tantrum and end it. After much thought, I realised that if I loved the person enough I’d prolly forgiv the person n let bygones b bygones.

I mean firstly, what does it mean to ‘cheat’ on someone. Some would say simple being physically sexually unfaithful. My definition encompasses that but also goes further to what I’d like to call emotionally unfaithful. I mean one might not be engaging in physical unfaithfulness but say if person A was being dishonest to person B in such a way that A was hiding from B, an intimate relationship (talking on the phone or long distance) that A was having with a person C, I believe this would also be ‘cheating’. In a more eloquent manner of speaking it, it is when a person starts to pursue his or her feelings (being emotional or sexual urges) towards another person even though they are already involved with another person.

A fren told me that she recons that cheating is never excusable. I look at my own situation. And even though there was never any sexual unfaithfulness I still consider it cheating. Prior this circumstance I would have stood by my fren’z statement that cheating is inexcusable. But now, my first reaction was not rage or anything of the kind, but rather sadness. Sadness because obviously I was not enough and so he had to look else where for emotional or sexual fulfilment. For some reason I look at what he did and I can’t place blame on anyone except myself. Thinking through it logically and trying to see it how i would have seen it if I weren’t in the situation. Id stand by my fren’s statement bout it being inexcusable because even though you hear people say ‘I cheated on her but I still love her’, my refute to that would have been (as is my frend’s opinion) that if you truly love a person you can control any ‘craving’ to make sure you don’t intentionally hurt them.

Hmm… but then I think to myself again not all actions are conscious, so what happns if its jus that one thing led to another. I gues id say an act like ‘cheating’ isn’t an act that could be ‘unconscious’. But then again wat would I kno since ive never done it. I guess one thing can lead to another and these things happen. But with that I think mayb that means the love that person has isn’t strong enuff.

So am I against it? Totally. But for some reason in my own situation considering he told me the truth about what happened. Perhaps it is excusable. Isn’t it my fault for not being enough?